i miss you so much already, to my lovely, beautiful golden gourami (fish) that died today, carnie, short for Shercarn.. 7months since i first got you, i love you so much. you always made me so happy to see you swimming around. its seems like everything is going wrong at the moment, and listening to 'the ballad of mona lisa' right now isn't exactly helping. but i can't help but listen to it.
i know Gods there, but sometimes it feels like i can't find him.
i know he never left my side, but figurately speaking ... i hope he finds me first.
love you God, please protect, change and keep me strong.